Our Story
TEX
THE FINAL FRONTIER.
TEX BRAITHWAITE AND THE BIRYANI BROS.
For those of you who have never experienced an ‘entertainment’ by ‘Tex Braithwaite and the Biryani Bros, here is a short introduction to the band, their lives and their music.
TEX BRAITHWAITE
In the immortal lyrics of the song penned by the late, great Hank Grimsdale- ‘Born in a heat wave in a mean mid west town, every time he looked up, he was told to look down’ ! Tex grew up in a world where it paid to keep your back to the wall. In fact being adopted by parents in the circus business , (Pappy, Travis T. Braithwaite was an illusionist, seller of hair restoring elixir and bank robber, and his Mammy , Bunty, a bearded fortune teller, ) he learned pretty fast that it was always a good thing to know the quickest route out of town!
It was in the circus that he developed his extraordinary singing talents after listening to his Mammy singing whilst she shaved.
Tex left home aged 47 to pursue a musical singing career, strongly encouraged by his pappy (TEX, get out of my house!) and also due to winning $1,000,000 on the state lottery. Despite being a bachelor all of his life, Tex coincidentally met the girl of his dreams (Dolly Doublecream) within 48 hrs of his fabulous win and was introduced to her ‘brother’ Randy Swindler, who was to become his manager.
Tex was soon visited by old musical ‘friends’ who quickly became the legendary ‘BIRYANI BROS’ . (Named after Dolly’s favourite post gig repast!) The rest is History.
JUMPING JIM SCADDING
An old school chum of Tex’s, Jim knew a good thing when he saw it and soon persuaded Tex to let him play bass in the band. He also persuaded Tex to adopt his own unique personal and rhythmic style –Jumping Jim’s ‘Chesham Road North Sound’ – uncontrollable surges in rythmn and tempo that can drive women (and cattle) crazy!
Unfortunately differences in temperament and competitiveness over the merits of their respective horses names ‘Jet’ and ‘Colin’ (Tex’s horse) have lead to recriminations sometimes spilling over into their stage show!
This, however, only adds to the DYNAMIC TENSION within the band!
SHANE ARKWRIGHT
An ex Bank Teller, Shane has always been a bit of an outsider ! His identity always concealed behind an obviously ‘FALSE’ mustache. He is currently wanted by the Federal Authorities on charges of Grand Larceny! None of this detracts from his formidable ukulele and mandolin playing skills. (All learned in St Quentin, the only reason Tex has him in the band –of course.)
SLY PICKIN
Possibly the handsomest member of the band (next to Tex), always a ‘ladies’ man, Sly knows how to handle not only women, but also guns, stolen money, debtors, anybody who crosses him, but mostly the –ELECTRIC GUITAR! An invaluable asset to the band (as Sly explained to Tex at gun point!) “To have excluded him would have been a major mistake” said Tex Braithwaite. Sly is also a Bounty Hunter and it is no coincidence that his joining the band coincided with an intention to arrest Shane Arkwright. However he has decided to postpone that for the time being as he is having far too much fun at the present time !